( juan.of.a.kind )

Here is the final film line delivered by film god Orson Welles...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:43:26 -0500

Here is the final film line delivered by film god Orson Welles in his final film role as Unicron in the only Transformers motion picture worth mentioning: The Transformers: The Movie (1986). And yes, that’s Stan Bush’s beyond awesome 80’s rock song “The Touch” playing in the background, making the explosive death scene absolutely perfect. This fantastic animated film needs a Blu-ray release pronto, especially in light of the immense popularity of the childhood memory-raping, live-action adaptations of recent years.

Bonus: The Touch music video —-> Full of unbelievable amounts of win (“you’re a winner!”).

Curb - Season 7, Ep 8: Officer Krupke

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:57:00 -0500

Jeff Garlin (as Jeff Greene): Listen. I got big fucking news. Huge. Ready for this? I got a call from Virginia. She can't do the part! She's in a neck brace.
Larry David (as himself): You're kidding!
JG: No.
LD: Oh my God.
JG: Yes, and you know what that means?
LD: Cheryl's going to do the part!
JG : Cheryl's going to do the part.
LD: Oh, this is fantastic!
JG: Yes! It's unbelievable.
LD: What happened?
JG: She wouldn't tell me. I said "What happened" and she said "It's not important."
LD: Interesting.
JG: What?
LD: As far as I know, there's only 2 ways you can injure your neck.
JG: Mm-hmm.
LD: One is a car accident.
JG: Yeah.
LD: The other is cunnilingus.
JG: Mm-hmm.
LD: If it wasn't a car accident, she injured her neck GOING DOWN on Cheryl.
JG: Cheryl, oh my God!
LD: Yes, they had a menage-a-trois!
JG: You don't know that! It could've been a car accident. You don't know.
LD: Let's check her car.
JG: Alright, let's check her car. Alright. Who are you?
LD: I'm Larry David.
JG: And what do you happen to enjoy?
LD: I happen to enjoy wearing womens panties.
JG: Let's go.

So I'm watching Abel Ferrara's brutally dangerous, NYC exploitation masterpiece, Bad Lieutenant (1992) on IFC. Then my nephew (2 years, 10 months old) walks in the room...

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:22:00 -0500

My nephew and I: *racing his Hot Wheels cars along the lines of the carpet rug*
The Lieutenant (Harvey Keitel) on the TV: (reacting to the fictitious Mets/Dodgers play-by-play on the radio) You cocksucker! You fuckin' miserable fuckin' *shoots radio* cocksucker! *drives away* Piece of fucking shit. You fucking n****r! Fucking cocksucker! Oh *weeping* you fucking piece of shit! *crying*
Magic Juan (me): *lowering the volume* Uhhh...he's just mad that his baseball team lost.
My nephew: Baseball?
Me: Yeah, but it's not right to react that way when you lose, right?
Nephew: *acting reassuring towards Keitel's character* It's OK.
Excellent review of the 2009 Special Edition DVD of Bad Lieutenant (which thankfully features the NC-17 cut, but unfortunately no reinstatement of the crucially impactful Schoolly D track): http://www.slantmagazine.com/dvd/dvd_review.asp?ID=1579

Absolutely perfect raking weather today. Temps reached 14...

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 20:57:39 -0500

The mysterious monoleaf rising...

Now THAT...is one big pile of leaves.

You fell off, yo. (c) Red Maple Tree

F*ckin bag 'em up! (c) Mitch Hedberg

These Gather 'N Go rakes are a godsend.

Atten...HUT!

The Nephew, surveying the area.

Yes sir, yes sir, 10 bags full.

My huge Ernie work gloves, packin it in.

HEAVILY packed & ready for pick up. FIN.

Absolutely perfect raking weather today. Temps reached 14 Celsius (57.2 Fahrenheit) in the afternoon, which is incredibly warm for Ottawa at this time of year (I believe the informal term is “Indian Summer”). Anyways, no time like the surprisingly warm present to collect all of the deceased leaves before the real first snowfall comes down and sticks around. Hope you’re all enjoying the gorgeous splendor that is the Fall season.

Midnight, The Stars and Me...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:26:00 -0500

Because I’m such a party animal, I am currently amidst the home stretch of a late night/early morning post-Halloween horror movie double bill…

Oooh, curious to see what I have to say, are ya? Just teasing. Read more, indeed…

That’s right, despite only being a week removed from my 31 films in 31 nights horror-thon (the horror!), the scary film watching just never seems to take a vacay around these parts.

So tonight’s viewing is courtesy of MPix HD (which, if you’re not aware, specializes in showing films considered older and non-current). And as proof that I am kinda old, the initial releases of the 2 five-star films on tonight’s “vintage” menu together bring back some fond memories of my early days of first year university (1999-2000 was a rather innocent time for me, if I must say so). Sorta like a modern day horror grindhouse double shot:

FIRST…

THEN…

Both in HD. And thankfully Blair Witch isn’t hard matted all funny like it is on the DVD (which I broke out for my 31 Days of Night). And I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: even though I’ve viewed each of these films countless times (through the magic of DVD), there’s something special about catching a TV airing of Requiem and Blair Witch; 2 vastly different but incredibly effective frightfests (back to back, no less). Primarily because you know you’re not the only one watching right now.

TEN WAYS TO GOOD HEALTH Behold the lovely tea cup I copped at...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:35:10 -0500

TEN WAYS TO GOOD HEALTH

Behold the lovely tea cup I copped at the T & T Supermarket last weekend. Filled to the brim with Silver Needle White Tea (steeped at 75 celsius) with words to live by displayed on the exterior (the same sound advice is written in Japanese characters on the other side of the cup). A perfect way to drink to your health.

"3. Be a semi-vegetarian. That’s someone who supplements a steady diet of vegetables, whole..."

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:53:53 -0500

“3. Be a semi-vegetarian. That’s someone who supplements a steady diet of vegetables, whole grains, legumes, fruit and dairy products with occasional moderate servings of beef, poultry and fish. The potential benefits are many: a lowered risk for heart disease, cancer, and diabetes, the maintenance of a healthy weight, and fewer digestive complaints.”

- From the informative handbook Wellness Made Easy: 365 Tips for Better Health. I’ve been a loyal subscriber to the UC Berkeley monthly Wellness Letter since 2007. And each issue is filled with incredibly useful and well-researched articles as well as helpful, up-to-date tips on living a healthier life. Speaking of health, it’s been 10 days since my H1N1 shot. So if the calculations are correct, then the vaccine should finally be taking effect. Not that I want to be exposed to the virus more now or anything. Anyways, I’ll periodically post what I feel are the best tips (such as this one) from the book so that you don’t even have to subscribe to do the knowledge. Why? Because I like ya, that’s why <;) —-> grossly exaggerated raising of the eyebrows w/ a sleazy wink emoticon (could also serve as a dunce cap).

Michael Jackson - The Girl Is Mine (Solo Demo) Minus Paul...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:05:00 -0500

Michael Jackson - The Girl Is Mine (Solo Demo)

Minus Paul McCartney and therefore minus the kitschy end dialogue, and with some mega dreamy instrumentation and wonderful ad-libs not heard in the final (and IMO inferior) version. All in CD quality for the first time ever! Yes, Christmas has come exactly 7 weeks early as the official batch of CDQ Thriller demos from the famed early 80’s Thriller sessions have leaked online (thank you to whomever set these timeless gems free). These aren’t the same demos that have been heard on MJ’s Ultimate Collection or even the special edition of Thriller. These are the OH-FEE-SHALL blueprints, son. And if you didn’t enjoy the album version of The Girl Is Mine, then dare I say you might enjoy this.

These tracks were spawned during the beyond legendary Thriller sessions of the early 80’s and have never been heard before in full and in CD quality until now (which is pretty unbelievable). This magical package also includes some songs that were excluded from Thriller (like Carousel, Nite Line, Hot Street and Trouble) which, although they’ve been heard from in some form before, are also available in CDQ for the first time ever. If you’ve been listening to the low-quality demos all this time like I have, then you’ll thank your lucky stars for this momentous leak; for MJ fans, this is big news if you haven’t realized it by now.

Furthermore, I’m a demo freak as I tend to find the early drafts of songs much more fascinating than the finished product; they’re like the raw, creative form of the song before it gets all polished up and, in many cases, over produced in comparision (I’m just talking in general terms here). And if anything, demos are the blueprint for without which the final version would never ever come to fruition. To me, the demos sound like minimalist remixes hailing from an alternate universe. And although Thriller isn’t my personal favourite MJ album (it’s third behind 1. Off The Wall and 2. Dangerous), it doesn’t really get much better than the official demos/blueprints of the biggest selling album of all-time. The holy grail of demos, you could say.

I’ll post more tracks from this treasure trove of wonderfully raw and pure-sounding recording gems as the days go by (due to the limitations of the Tumblr audio posting system). Getting to hear these tracks at all is what the Internet was invented for, I feel. Hell, I’m just so thankful that I have good hearing to experience this (and you should be too). *turning up the volume on my headphones* A good Friday morning to you.

Now there’s a perfect set of googl(e)y eyes if I ever saw...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:26:16 -0500

Now there’s a perfect set of googl(e)y eyes if I ever saw any. Happy early 40th Sesame Street! November 10th is the big day. The Sesame Street: 20 and counting… anniversary special seems like it was just yesterday and definitely not 20 years ago (I wonder how John-John is doing these days?). But wow, where did all of the time go? Oh well…1, 2, 3, 4, 5…6, 7, 8, 9, 10…11, 12!

Michael Jackson - Carousel (Full CDQ Version) Recorded in early...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:05:00 -0500

Michael Jackson - Carousel (Full CDQ Version)

Recorded in early 1982 and written by Don Freeman and Michael Sembello. This track was dropped off of Thriller in favour of Human Nature (a decision by Quincy and Michael that no one can really debate). Previously only available on the Thriller Special Edition release in shortened form (1:50) as well as in a low-quality, near-full version floating around online (3:55). Not anymore though, for here is the complete composition (4:10) of Carousel in CD quality sound. This is the way that this beautiful track was meant to be heard. Good morning.

God of War III demo pics. The precursor to a major reason why...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:32:00 -0500

Press X, oh God, press X!

Wait...

for...

IT!

God of War III demo pics. The precursor to a major reason why the PS3 was invented. And also the main reason why I will finally get a Slim(kid)3 to call my own, hopefully by Christmastime.

If you have a PS3 already, then you can access this epic demo in one of the following ways:

Pre-order God of War III (Regular or Ultimate edition)
Purchase District 9 on Blu-ray (the demo is included within)
Cop the God of War Collection —-> This shall be my ticket

Images courtesy of the fine geeks over at NeoGaf—-> 56K warning…just kidding! (but on the real, if you’re still using a 56K modem, then you’re most likely not reading this since you probably don’t even know that Tumblr exists, let alone my little online culture nook…no offense)

Philly cheesesteaks or Yankee pot roast? | MLB.com: News

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:57:00 -0500

Philly cheesesteaks or Yankee pot roast? | MLB.com: News:

If we’re talking strictly food, then it’s a toss up as I love both (depends what day it is). But if we’re talking World Series, then…cheesesteaks all the way! In particular, I would love to see Pedro who, according to the article, is the spicy onions of the sandwich (which is actually my favourite part) put an exclamation mark on his superb career by taking the Phills to a 7th and deciding game against the Yanks, hopefully somehow leading to a World Series title repeat on the road (easier said than done). Either way, I’ve enjoyed this year’s Fall Classic a lot more than I thought I would, considering my indifference towards both teams (but moreso towards the Bankees). Now then, what time is it? Game time (WHOOO!).

Edit: Pedro’s got the flu? Sh!t. Here’s hoping he pulls a Jordan. Not looking strong early on though.

Edit2: Matsui is God…zilla.

The Roots - Kirk’s Election Day Song (from the November 3,...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:59:23 -0500

The Roots - Kirk’s Election Day Song (from the November 3, 2009 ep of Late Night w/ Jimmy Fallon)

Even though it’s not election time up here in Canada, this could very well become the official song for whenever the time to vote for anything does arrive (in my mind, anyway). Best election song ever! I salute you, Captain Kirk. Owwwww!

Court Surfing - The Score

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:25:00 -0500

Court Surfing - The Score:

Night 1 of the re-birth of Court Surfing on The Score is in the can and was wonderful to say the least. I’m talking about the multi-game surfing, b-ball TV program, of course (up top is a link to the corresponding blog). Sid & Tim taking the reins this season (awesome) with some great action all around tonight; in particular them Thunder kids done grown up indeed with an oh-so-close-but-no-cigar effort against the defending champion Fakers (not this time, but next time). And of course there was the glorious return of Court Cuts (only the finest!). A great way to start month eleven, no doubt.

NBA Court Surfing, Tuesdays at 8PM on HD channel 509 in the great white north. One of the reasons why HD was invented (I feel).

V Is Not Doomed, And You Should Still Watch - V - io9

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:39:00 -0500

V Is Not Doomed, And You Should Still Watch - V - io9:

Currently in the midst of checking out the opening half hour of this program right now with my Dad. I’ve been very much looking forward to the premiere of this oft-delayed series, which is a remake of the fantastic 80’s mini-series of the same name…or letter, rather (V). As a toddler, I used to watch the original mini-series with my Dad in what was possibly my first ever exposure to science fiction programming (along with the first 3 Star Trek movies). So there is definitely some nostalgic-based interest in this new series.

As for the new V, so far so good (enjoyed the near 15 minute intro), although this could easily take a nosedive at anytime considering 80’s television remake attempts in recent years by the major networks haven’t exactly been above reproach (Knight Rider, anyone?). Keeping my mind open, though. However I will be completely won over if cameos by Jane Badler and Robert Englund are in the cards (I’m only half-joking).

Wale - Beautiful Bliss (feat. Melanie Fiona & J. Cole)...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:29:00 -0500

Wale - Beautiful Bliss (feat. Melanie Fiona & J. Cole) [Prod. DJ Green Lantern & Mark Ronson]

Due to a pretty busy weekend, I’m a bit late to the Attention Deficit leakage par-tay (Wale’s first full-length LP dripped onto the internets late last Friday evening) so only now am I getting a chance to sit down and digitally spin it. And despite the wackness of the lead single (Chillin feat. GaGa GooGoo, which has some decent production but the Lady vocals absolutely ruin the track for me), I’m pleased that Wale is getting some decent mainstream exposure from it (which of course, was by design). Thankfully, it’s the worst track on the album by far (but what else did you expect from a radio grab track?). And hopefully all these kids DLing, uploading and playing Chillin will actually check out the rest of the LP as well as Wale’s superb mixtapes for some dope hip hop ish, in particular Back To The Feature and, my fave of the bunch, Voice of the City (the latter of which featured Wale waxing poetic over beats by Best Kept Secret, 9th Wonder, The Roots, Kanye and J Dilla).

I for one wish to support this young cat and hope that he blows up something fierce, primarily because he’s got rhyming talent, collaborates with some of the dopest producers and most importantly is respectful and knowledgeable of the hip hop masters that laid out the road before him. So I’ll mos def cop the AD schee-dee on the 10th (a week from now). And although he’s been lumped into the MTV hipster rapper category, Wale is in fact a decent lyricist first and foremost who IMO is FAR superior to other artists in the aforementioned hipster-hop genre (namely Kid Cudi, Big Sean and Drake). As a result, his subtle but clever wordplay will take a few listens to fully process. And although Wale’s subject matter is not incredibly deep or thought provoking, his best lyrical bars are rather charming and amusing while his cadence and flow are consistent and distinct (all good signs). Plus, he seems to have a good ear for beats (so far).

I was hoping for the LP to have more DC Go Go (and less GaGa ;) style production from the sick and truly Best Kept Secret producer duo. But I can’t be mad at the varied lineup Wale ended up going with: 9th Wonder, Best Kept Secret, Mark Ronson, Cool & Dre and The Neptunes, just to name a few. It will take a few more listens (as well as a focused headphone session) to really absorb this joint. But my first impressions are definitely good ones for the most part. And Beautiful Bliss just might be my favourite of the bunch so far, where Wale puts on his most impressive lyrical performance of the album IMO (edit: And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the fact that J. Cole kills it with the middle verse). So if you’re feeling this joint, then pick up Attention Deficit on the 10th and support good music.

Back in the Go Go…

Bart: Mom, guess what? Lisa: We’re going to Itchy and...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:08:37 -0500

Bart: Mom, guess what?

Lisa: We’re going to Itchy and Scratchy Land!

Marge: No. I’ve already planned our vacation. We’re going to the Highway Nine Bird Sanctuary. I understand they’ve installed a new birdfeeder this year.

[Bart and Lisa look aghast]

Marge: It’s shaped like a diner. And it’s on this really tall pole.

[Bart and Lisa look aghast]

"Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it."

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:43:18 -0500

“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.”

- Buddha

The 5 Minute Plank Challenge: Additional training

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:12:34 -0500

Since I already completed this challenge over 2 weeks ago, I am now just trying to keep myself in decent EPP (elbow plank position) condition. So here we go, yo:

(2-3 minute break in between sets)

Set 1 - 3:33

Set 2 - 1:17

Set 3 - 2:22

Set 4 - 2:34

Set 5 - 2:14

Set 6 - 2:01

Set 7 - 2:17

Cumulative Plank Time: 16:18

My initial goal was to hit the 3 minute mark five times in a row. But having failed that almost immediately, I ended up just going for a new personal record in cumulative time (no matter how many sets it would take). So even though this challenge is technically over, I would still like to accomplish the ol’ 5 X 3+ minute consecutive planks sequence as icing on the fitness cake, if you will. Didn’t hit the mark tonight, though. The (plank) saga continues…

"Tell that cunt to eat shit and die. We’ll live happily ever after. THE END."

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:30:00 -0500

“Tell that cunt to eat shit and die. We’ll live happily ever after. THE END.”

- Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin from Weeds: Season 5, Ep 8 - A Distinctive Horn. Oh, how I love MLP.